Doctors Think They Know Everything

Every body is different.

I mean it the way I typed it. Every BODY is different. Every pregnancy is unique, every weight loss story, every weight gain story, every development, every part of who you are physically (and mentally, but we're not talking about that today) is different than everyone else.

So why is it that we lump so many things together?

It's simpler for sure, but because we're all human with the same body parts, organs, and structure (for the most part anyway) it seems logical that we would make correlations from what we've heard from others and what we know about ourselves. This works for many conditions and situations, but I'm talking about pregnancy, of course.

This is why women always have so much advice to give on pregnancy, because they've experienced it or know someone who has and therefore because I'm pregnant that information is automatically valid.
This isn't to say I haven't received some great pregnancy information from people, I have. Doctors, on the other hand, have made me want to scream.

I really would have preferred a midwife. My fiance really wanted some professional medical input and since this is my first pregnancy I thought it'd be fine. I'm not a doctor person. I have avoided the doctor for a very long time. And my reasons are reinforced every time I see a doctor. They have a way of making you feel bad about yourself.

First of all, there is no perfect diet. No matter how well you eat, for example organic and loaded with whole grains, vegetables, fruits, dairy, with small amounts of protein thrown in, and the occasional sweet, it's not good enough. Nope, there are still things that can be improved on.

Apparently, even if I'm in perfect health, testing is still important. Oh, let's draw a blood sample to see how your blood count is doing. Oh, let's make sure your iron is at a decent level. Let's make sure you don't have gestational diabetes. Despite feeling fine, eating fairly well, having perfect blood pressure, the fact that I'm not even 25 yet... let's test just to say you're really in good health because just feeling and seeming that way isn't enough. Did anyone ever think that the more you're tested, the higher the chances are they'll find something? Then they'll do more tests and then by the time they rule it out you've undergone biopsies and expensive procedures. And just in case we'll put you on a regimented medication. It's ridiculous. (Not to mention women were having babies LONG before medical intervention.)

There are three OBs at the place I'm having prenatal care done at. I actually really do like my regular OB. She's nice, understanding, and doesn't make me feel as though my beliefs and decisions are ludicrous. They scheduled me for two appointments where I don't meet with my regular OB but instead with the others, just in case my OB can't be there for the birth. So on my Monday visit, I met with another OB. I mentioned that I did not want the glucose screening test. Now, I didn't expect anyone to understand, but I also didn't expect to have someone be condescending about it. She told me that she has to explain why they have the test done (I already knew why) and that she understood that I just didn't want to go through the testing. That was not it at all. I didn't want the testing because I don't want to put my body through that. It's not worth it. I eat well, yadda yadda. Well, it didn't help that I had binged a little this weekend with my pâte à choux, so I had been feeling a little sugar high the last few days. I knew my sugar was up too, so when she tested my urine for sugar, lo and behold it was high. So that didn't help my case much. Might I add though, that this was the first time it had been high and I already knew it would be before walking into the clinic. She told me that even if I did test positive for gestational diabetes they would just regulate my diet. Regulate my diet to what? I looked up the diet for gestational diabetes, it's basically what I'm already doing. I'm not diabetic! I had a bit of a sugar fit, yes, and I knew I overdid it because I never eat sugary things and my body went a little nuts but does that mean I have gestational diabetes? I process sugar just fine, thank you. I just ate a little too much in a short time frame.

What doesn't help is that no one understands. It's just a nice little prelude to have others say, "well, gestational diabetes is a real thing and it's important that you're aware of whether or not you have it." People automatically assume that since I don't want something I know nothing about it. Many people in our society when they don't want something or are afraid of it choose not to research it because of what they may or may not find out. I was fully aware of what I was refusing. I looked it up. I know that gestational diabetes is a serious condition and it would be bad for me to ignore it. I'm an informed refuser.

The other thing that grated me was when the OB measured my stomach. She looked at the measurement and said, "that seems a little large." So I asked her what "average" was since I did not know the statistic because I didn't know this was even a thing; I've never been pregnant! She said something about 20-some centimeters, then remeasured. So when I became slightly nervous she said that my measurement was really a "base-line" and that I should grow no more than one centimeter a month until I deliver. One centimeter a month? How am I supposed to put on, what, another ten pounds total and only grow 3.5 centimeters? Where is this weight going? Of course, this could have very well been a way for her to tell me I had gained too much weight during my pregnancy. Why is it that doctors always think they know your body better than you do? If I wasn't pregnant, I'd only be overweight by a little over 10 pounds. Very frustrating.

The bottom line: if my sugar is high again the next appointment, I will go get the screening done just to ease my own mind and to prove everyone wrong. If my sugar is normal, I'm not going to do anything about it.

The baby, by the way, is doing well. He's happy in there. The doctor says he looks great and he's about the size of an acorn squash now. He's kicking and rolling around in there, and even kicked the doctor when she went to put that ultrasound thing on me. He must not have liked what she said either.

Pregnancy tip: drink a lot of water. I was also heavy on juice this last month, which I usually have a glass or two but I drank a LOT more than that. I switched to lemon water, so good and hydrating.

Today I also want to give a shout-out to Laura Vitale of laurainthekitchen.com. I'm a big proponent of basic dishes that you can dress up in your own way and she does a lot of basic recipes. I will probably being doing a few recipes from her. She's responsible for my recipe of the week.

As you already know from my previous post, or at least hopefully know, my pâte à choux was beautiful and delicious too. Probably tomorrow will be the day I do my "practice-run" bundt cake, which I hope will be wonderful. My chocolate marshmallow/meringue treats are on the list but before I do those I will be doing another chocolate dessert of which will remain a secret until revealed. I've never made anything like what I'm going to make and I'm very excited. On the non-dessert end, I will be making dinner rolls, maybe today or tomorrow, with the recipe courtesy Laura Vitale.

So, recipe of the week (so far at least)? Strawberry shortcake. (It wasn't even on my list!) What makes this so amazing is the little amount of sugar in the shortcakes themselves while still managing to be sweet from the strawberries. I can't take any credit for the recipe, the only thing I changed about the shortcakes was that I didn't have heavy cream so I used whole milk. Worked just fine.  Another minor, minor thing I changed was because I didn't have heavy cream I couldn't make whipped cream for the middle. Something I stumbled across was the usage of coconut cream for a whipped cream substitute. This does work. One thing though, once the can of coconut milk is chilled, getting that top layer of cream off is very difficult. Once it's off, it's almost plastic-y it's so hard. If you throw it in the microwave for 5 seconds on high, no more, it should be perfect whipping consistency. Whip well with a few pinches of sugar and a splash of vanilla and you're good to go. Dairy-free, low in sugar, high in healthy fats... it's perfect really. Mind you, it does taste like coconut, duh. It's like how people think carob is a reasonable substitute for chocolate. There is a flavor difference, and it's noticeable. But it's still delicious. It actually is almost passable for whipped cream if you don't add too much because the other flavors compensate. Enough with the chatter though, on with the pictures!

The recipe stated that it would make about 4-6. I had a seventh one, a quite large one actually, as you can see from the middle. The yellow on top was the egg wash.

Assembly time. First you slice the cake open...

Then you add the layer of whipped cream, coconut or otherwise. Note: If you do this instead of adding the strawberries first, it will prevent your cake from getting soggy too quickly from strawberry juice.

On top of the cream you add your strawberries. I loved that it had some orange zest and juice in it. So yummy. (And organic!)

Put the lid on, and for decoration I threw on a dab of cream with a strawberry just for appearances. It's truly delicious.

That's about all I had to say! I will post again with more recipes and information as I have them. Enjoy your day!

P.S.: Happy birthday Grandma!

Pâte à Choux or Cream Puff Recipe

These little French desserts are pure heaven, but require a bit of work. I am writing this post because I could not find a concise set of directions to follow to make these beauties and I know others will need help just as I did. And so begins the recipe for...

Pâte à Choux (Cream Puffs in English)

Aren't they pretty? They are pronounced "pat-ah-shoo."

Ingredients:

1 Stick of Butter (1/2 cup)

1 Cup of Water

1 Cup All-Purpose Flour

4-6 Large Eggs (details on that below)

Good Pinch of Salt

Before I get started on the directions, I used three sources for help. I may refer to them as the directions go along as Source 1, Source 2, or Source 3. The links for them are:

SteamyKitchen (or Source 1)

TheKitchn (or Source 2)

YouTube (or Source 3)

Directions:

1) Preheat your oven to 425 degrees F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or aluminum foil, shiny side down.

2) Over medium heat in a large saucepan, melt the butter in the water, allowing the water to come to a simmer.

3) Add the flour all at once and stir until a dough is formed. Once the dough is formed, continue cooking over medium heat, stirring and mashing constantly until dough has dried slightly, about 3-5 minutes. (For a good visual on what the dough should look like, see Source 3.)

4) Remove from heat and allow to come to room temperature or slightly warmer than. Stirring and mashing helps with the cooling process.

5) Once the dough has cooled, add salt and then the eggs one at a time, being sure to fully incorporate them before adding the next one. You know your dough is ready when you take a spoonful and the dough falls into a clump back into the pan. (Again, see Source 3 for a visual.) I needed about five or six eggs, but it is very dry in my house. Humid days may take fewer eggs. Another way to tell if you're done is being able to tell whether it is pipe-able yet still would hold its shape without issue. Note: You could use a mixer for this as I did it by hand and it took quite a bit of muscle power, but you do get a better sense of how you're doing when you do it by hand.

Unbaked pâte à choux. I had covered them with plastic wrap while the first batch was finishing.

6) Fill a pastry or gallon size plastic bag with your dough. (You can refrigerate for up to a day if properly sealed, but allow to come up to room temperature before using.) Cut or use a tip about 1/2" in diameter although it doesn't really matter. Pipe little mounds of dough about an 1 1/2" to 2" around and about as high as a golf ball. You can really make any shape or size you want, but if you do your baking times will change.

7) Place baking sheet with uncooked puffs into the oven and reduce the heat to 375. If you made your puffs about the size listed above you will need to cook about 40 minutes. Otherwise, you can tell if you're done by the pastry being thoroughly golden brown or by cracking one open and seeing how the dry the inside looks (they'll be hollow!). If very, very slightly damp, this is okay. If they're still pretty wet, keep baking. Do not check on your pastries before 15 minutes. From what I understand, there are some cases when an influx of air too soon before the dough sets can cause the puffs to fall. This did not happen to me but I understand the concern. Opening the oven door too often will also change the temperature of the oven creating longer bake times.

8) Once your dough has reached the appropriate doneness, reduce the oven to 300 and cook another 10 minutes. This allows them to dry out.

9) Once done, remove from the oven. Source 2 suggested pricking the puffs with a toothpick to release any pent-up steam to keep the insides from getting soggy. I agree with this, plus remove the puffs from the pan within about three-five minutes so the bottoms do not get soggy. Place on a plate with the puffs on their side to they can cool evenly.

Baked pâte à choux.

10) You have made pâte à choux! Slice in half and then you can fill them with whatever you desire. The most common filling is whipped cream. The filling I used is:

Swiss Meringue Buttercream

(Thank you BakingAMoment!)

Ingredients:

3 Egg Whites

3/4 Cup Sugar (more or less depending on how sweet you like it)

1 Cup or 2 Sticks of Butter, allowed to sit at room temperature

1/2 Teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Directions:

1) In a clean glass or metal heat-proof bowl, place the egg whites and sugar. Place the bowl over a pot of water that has come to a simmer over medium heat. Beat or whisk the mixture until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture becomes quite thick. Note: The mixture will not become hot, but fairly warm. If you are worried about the consumption of raw eggs, cook eggs to a temperature of 160 degrees F. (Source: FoodSafety)

2) Remove from heat and continue to beat/whip until meringue has come to room temperature or slightly warmer than. This will take some time. To expedite the process, place bowl in a larger bowl filled slightly with ice water while whisking.

3) Beat in the vanilla and then the butter two or three tablespoons at a time until butter is fully incorporated. Depending on how warm your mixture and butter was during preparation, your frosting may look less like frosting and more like sweet, thick soup. If this happens, and it did to me, place bowl, covered, in the fridge for 30-40 minutes. After, re-whip the buttercream and you will see a huge difference. This buttercream is awesome!

4) Place mixture in pastry or plastic baggie to pipe onto whatever you desire.

Note: The original recipe was for chocolate buttercream. I was going to make it chocolate, but my fiance tasted it and decided it was good the way it was without the chocolate. I have to say, he was right! Also, this did not make quite enough for all of my pâte à choux. (I would have had about 10 or so pâte à choux left.) You may want to double the recipe.

Finished pâte à choux. They're so yummy.

Be sure to dust finished pâte à choux with powdered sugar! They're quite a lot of fun to eat!

A pregnancy blog post will follow this week with more fun recipes. See you then!

Happy Vernal Equinox

Hello everyone,

Today is March 20th, 2014, the first day of Spring. I awoke to over 12" of snow on the ground, the most we've had in one sitting all season. March and April snowstorms are the worst. I have pictures to share below.

Snow pile outside my window... it has grown since about three hours ago. It now reaches over the top of the window.

I opened my front screen door to see this...

...and then this... my poor car...

...and then this... piles of snow around the house.

Something I did this morning was look back on all of my blog posts from 2012 and 2013. I realized that we had snow last year until April... my fiance and I need to seriously consider a warmer climate, my car was completely buried this morning!

My first batch of maternity clothes came in yesterday (yay), and I will be placing another order probably tomorrow. My stomach is growing and the baby is kicking... both at an alarming rate!

Something else that has crossed my mind is starting my own little bakery. I've always loved baking, but I had given it up for cooking when I switched from conventional to organic foods. I am baking organic now, which is good, but it doesn't mean it's totally healthy. Since I'm pregnant, I don't care so much, but I'd love to have a small, traditional (which no one has anymore) bakery where I have have a rotating display of baked goods and also allow for custom orders. Plus, most of my recipes are shorter on the list of ingredients and I can also alter to make them a little healthier. Something I'm going to think about!

By the way I watched the Disney movie "Frozen" last night with my fiance. I'm going to have to re-watch it to get the full effect, but, while being a little sillier than most Disney movies, it's very good and worth the watch.

The last thing I'm going to mention on this very brief blog post is my dehydration. I have woken up seriously dehydrated for the last four days or so, and this isn't the first time in my pregnancy. Drinking water doesn't help like you would think, I don't seem to be able to retain water. I've never been much of a fluid drinker, which was fine before I got pregnant because my fluids would come from fruits, vegetables, soup, tea, and other water-holding foods. Now that I need to drink more water, those water holding foods need to be doubled... but it's not that easy for me. I eat them and it's not enough. I have no idea what to do about this but I may start drinking more tea and consuming more soup. Hopefully the baby has enough fluid in there!

For those of you who have little to no snow on the ground, enjoy where you live. For the rest of us... I think it's time to make an igloo.

Until next week!

Where is Spring?

Polar vortex.

Anyone who lives in the "colder" states (or is deeply invested in The Weather Channel) has probably heard those two words a lot this season. What is a polar vortex? Simply put, as in without clicking the link, it's a consistent vortex or swirl around the poles of the Earth. In the wintertime, the vortex can shift or move cool or cold air over a region creating brisk, frigid temperatures, and some intense snowfall. Let me put this in perspective: it's March 18th, do you know where your flowers are?

Here, in the state of Maine, we have snow on the ground. Not just your average few inches of snow. No. Lots of snow. I've looked at the 10-day forecast. Guess what? We're expecting more snow. We're also forecasted for snow on the first day of Spring... as well as two days after. What's the warmest high temperature we're looking at? 42 degrees. (For those of you who know me, no I don't find it a coincidence.) It was six below this morning here. The lowest temperature in the 10-day forecast? Two below. And to be honest, the coldest temperature gets way below that at night here.

I've spent my whole life with cold winters. All twenty-some years. I've never been south of Galveston, TX. (No, I've never been to Florida.) Winter has never really bothered me much, I always say I enjoy snow from Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day even though I've always seen snow way later than that. When I spent the summer in Jackson Hole, WY, I saw a slight snowfall the first week of June. On average though, the last snow I see is usually the middle to third week of April.

For the first time in my life, I am literally craving Spring. I always love the changing of seasons, the equinoxes and solstices if you will. I don't have a favorite season really, but my favorite times of the year are those transitions. So why this winter am I suddenly feeling the desire to go south?

I blame the pregnancy. I've asked about this to family and they don't understand what I'm talking about. I have recently felt this deep-seated desire to go to a warmer place. I'm not talking like the Bahamas for a vacation or Florida or Hawaii, while those places are nice. I'm talking about an almost primal need to move to a warmer location. I'm assuming it's a maternal instinct to protect the baby from severe cold.

Twenty-four weeks. That's how far along I am today. The baby is the size of an ear of corn. (I love corn.) This week I only have two pregnancy grievances. Glucose screening and agave nectar.

Agave nectar? You may ask this to yourself. Why's that? Well. It's that sweetener that comes from the agave plant, naturally (ha ha, pun), and tends to be sweeter than honey or sugar. Over the last week or so, I've made up my own cranberry juice cocktails by mixing about a tablespoon of agave with about a half a cup of pure, straight cranberry juice, add some ice and then water to top it off (about two cups) and then bingo! All-natural, homemade cranberry juice cocktail. And agave dissolves in hot or cold liquids, which is great! (Maple syrup does too and I've used that as well.) Well, I was perusing the internet, particularly one website called The Kitchn, and I came across a strange article, is agave nectar healthful or harmful? Take note here, I've been on a baking kick lately and had been looking for things to make, not looking for pregnancy information. I was very, very surprised to find out that agave nectar may cause miscarriages due to high saponin levels. Naturally, when I read this last night I nearly had a panic attack. Fortunately, I'd only been making my drink for the last week or so and hadn't had agave at all before that during my pregnancy (aside from the avocado smoothies). So, would you like another pregnancy food rule? No agave. I think I'll be sticking to maple syrup and good old fashioned cane sugar until I give birth.

For those of you who have never given had to have a glucose screening test, here it is in a nutshell: you arrive at the testing place. They give you a super sweet four ounce drink to consume. You drink it. You sit in the lobby for an hour. You then get your blood drawn to see if your body properly handled the sugar content. You go home. Then you find out whether or not you have, in this case, gestational diabetes. If you do you are treated. If you do not, you do not get treated. I have some serious issues with this test.

It seems so simple and easy. Until you think about it. First of all, what is in this drink they are giving you? I tried Googling it. Nothing. I have no idea. They say it's just straight glucose. I'd love to know how they make it. I'd bet it's no where near natural. It's supposed to taste like cola. I don't drink cola.

Next, I've actually read that some women will actually get sick after drinking this. Sick. If they vomit they have to go home and try again another day. No thank you.

Then there's my thought of how my body is processing this. These doctors are going to try to force me to drink a substance I will never drink again so that they can see how my body will process something it will never need to process again. All the while, this will get filtered through the baby and who knows what kind of effects that can have. I'd be willing to bet that drinking this substance could cause diabetes in itself.

Lastly, my favorite part of all: hypocrisy. Baby Center has an article about this test and since I know not all of you will read it, I will cover some of it here. Here's the beginning of a quote: "Between 2 and 5 percent of expectant mothers develop [gestational diabetes],..." Okay, so if you think about all the women who have become pregnant, you'd automatically think, "wow, that's a pretty low percentage," right? Here's the rest of the quote: "... making it one of the most common health problems during pregnancy." Now I'm confused. If 100 women got pregnant, between 2 and 5 of them would have gestational diabetes. That seems like an awfully low number. But all this gets better with the next quote: "In fact, only about a third of women who test positive on the glucose screen actually have the condition." So now after I sat around for over an hour to get my blood drawn after drinking a substance I don't know how is produced, I may test positive even if I don't have the condition? Oh and if I DO test positive, I'll have to take a longer, more definitive test? Do I hear insurance companies laughing and throwing money in the air? I think I do...

I'm not scheduled to have this test yet, I will probably be told to take it next week after my prenatal visit. Guess what? I'm not taking it. One website mentions that if you are a healthy eater (ding!) and are not overweight (ding!) you don't have to worry about taking it. If I was overweight, had poor eating habits, or had other risk factors I would consider taking the test. I really would. But I don't and I'm not putting myself or my child at risk for any silly test.

Of course, we need to talk about desserts that I have made over the last week (ironically after talking about sugar). Now, unfortunately I have just about run out of flour and will need to wait until Friday to get more. Therefore I will be waiting until the weekend to create more pastries and things. BUT, I have a comprehensive list of things I will be making. (I will include links when I make them.) I plan on making a preliminary vanilla bean bundt cake with a cream cheese glaze. It will be preliminary because I will be making many more for my baby shower next month. I will also be making pâte à choux (pat-ah-shoo) which is a French (duh) hollow pastry that I will be filling with buttercream frosting, chocolate pudding, a sweet cream cheese filling, OR, since one of my favorite Italian desserts is cannoli, I may fill them with cannoli filling. They will get dusted with powdered sugar no matter what. The other thing I plan to make is a chocolate covered soft meringue/marshmallow treat, very similar to the Schokokuss (or Bio-kuss) I ate when I was in Germany. Since I am having trouble finding a recipe for that very soft, cloud-like marshmallow/meringue, I will have to make my own recipe and post it here. It will be my first authentic Holly recipe for a baked good/dessert so I'm looking forward to that. My recipe will likely be based on this recipe I found from the BBC.

What have I made this week? It's been a pretty dry week for baking, I made a loaf of bread, nothing to report there, I did make the chocolate chip bread (link was on last week's post), but I was wanting butterscotch pudding so badly I had to make it (no whiskey included). It was fantastic, although not the best picture. (Ironically, I barely eat the desserts and sweets I make. I have a few pieces over a day or two, but my fiance eats most of it. The ONLY exception was the pudding... I ate most of that one...)

Chocolate chip bread. It was such a bad idea. I could eat another loaf.

The inside. I will say this: I used mini chocolate chips because that was what I had. I think as a result of that, baking time increased by over twenty minutes. Keep that in mind if you plan to make this. Otherwise, eating this is like no other experience.

Butterscotch pudding. Little known fact about me, I've always loved making pudding. Butterscotch is my favorite, but I love making Milchreis or German rice pudding, and I'd love to make tapioca pudding, although I don't know if my fiance would eat it. Chocolate pudding is definitely on my list.

And so another blog post comes to an end. Next week will be filled with baby info (I have my prenatal visit next week) and probably more desserts (I'm going to buy a lot of flour). Maybe the weather will warm up... although it doesn't seem likely for me...

Enjoy your week!

Alien Invasion

Hi Everyone,

Before I get started, I want to let everyone know that the primary reason I did not post again last week was because I was waiting to see if those I sent a card to received it. I still haven't heard back from everyone, but it's been over a week so I think it's safe to say they were all delivered successfully.

I had started a blog post last week to post in the event that I was confident everyone received my card but I want to change my tune a little.

I dislike pregnancy for many reasons. I feel like I'm literally trapped in a pregnant suit, I'm terrified of my bellybutton popping out and/or changing shape (I loved my bellybutton and "outies" bother me a little), I'm afraid of my already big feet getting bigger, I don't like feeling clumsy and off-balance, and I'm not a fan of this congestion/dehydration combination. I'm afraid of my body never going back to the way it was before, not because of vanity, but because I liked being who I was. I felt capable and sturdy and let's face it, people identify you by the way you look. It's a reality and not always a shallow thing. I don't want people looking at me like, "so, I think she's pregnant" or "that's a mom." I just want to be ignored like I was before and continue on the way I had always been. My fiance (who has been exceptionally supportive) encourages me by saying I'll be back to my old self in no time, but no one really knows what will happen.

I'm a realist and an honest person. I believe in dreams and hopes and encouragement and all of that, which many of you know if you have followed my blog for any length of time, but there has always been a sense of reality in my tone. Realistic dreams have less of a chance of letting you down. Want to work as CEO of Toys 'R Us? You'll have to work to get there. It may happen. Want to move to the moon and live the rest of your life there? That may or may not be something we achieve in our lifetimes.

Why am I mentioning this? Well, something happened to me this last week that got me thinking. My fiance and I went out for lunch at an organic place we frequent so often that when I call ahead they know who I am without me saying. One of the workers there said to me when we got there, "You're starting to get a bit of a baby bump... are you excited?" And me being the way I am, I responded with the truth, "no." I'm scared. Labor is frightening to me. Having a watermelon in my stomach is scary to me. My fiance, however, was a little disappointed. He knew what I meant but he said that the way I respond to these kinds of questions is why people don't know how to talk to me about the pregnancy/baby. I started to feel bad. After all, I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable and I have nothing against the baby. I love the baby already. Do I love being pregnant? No. Certainly not. I also have an issue with lying. My fiance suggested that I could answer in a different way, for example, "I'm excited to meet the baby," instead of being bleak. I don't mean to be bleak and dismal. I'm just honest. But I really do want people to know I love the baby because I do love the baby. That's the truth. I want the baby to know I love the baby. I just wish, probably like every woman, that I could have the baby without my body being distorted and my brain feeling fuzzy. And it bugs me that women don't talk about how pregnancy is difficult and stressful. Women just endure it and keep going.

I can't lie about anything. But I can try to make it positive. While I really don't like being pregnant, I can say that having a baby will be an adventure for my fiance and I. We will have fun. We'll go to new places and read stories and play games and enjoy each others company. Will it be easy all the time? No. No one can say parenting is easy. Just like pregnancy. I can't say that I like pregnancy but I can say that I enjoy the little kicks I'm getting from time to time. I like picking out baby things. I'm enjoying the name I've picked out (that still needs an official approval from the dad). Will I still mention discomforts from time to time? Yes. But I really want to start lining it with happy statements too. I want my baby to be happy.

I'm 23 weeks pregnant today. Which means I'm officially in my sixth month of pregnancy. My little alien is over a pound now and is about the size of an eggplant. He, (it's a boy!), has developed full hearing and has about a 30 percent chance of survival if born today. By the end of the month, I will be in my last trimester. Scary right? Other than tired, a common pregnancy complaint, I feel fine. But man do I feel exhausted!

How am I occupying my time? Well, other than cleaning and maintaining the house, I have been bitten by that terrible baking bug, which is especially awful because I'm a health conscious, organic (which my baking is) person. But hey, I'm pregnant! I have also been rediscovering my love of regular cooking, something I've slacked off on because my fiance is such an excellent cook and I haven't had the energy to stand over anything on the stove. I built a beautiful Japanese fan shaped 1000 piece puzzle, which I preserved, like all my puzzles, to be hung at a later time and I am currently working on a hot air balloon 1500 piece puzzle. Lastly, I've been on an origami kick, I did make that bow, which looked exactly like the website's picture, but more importantly I've been on a kirigami kick! Ever made a paper snowflake or a pop-up card? That's essentially kirigami. For winter I decorated the sides of my car with snowflakes and since it's March I was going to take them down but my fiance said no because that's how people know it's my car. Well, I decided to make kirigami flowers to replace them which look epic. (According to Dictionary.com, epic can mean majestic or impressively great which suits my flowers.) This blog is one of the sources I used in making my flowers.

Kirigami sample. I have made way more than this.

Japanese Fan Puzzle Picture from Amazon.

Sky High Puzzle Picture from Calendars.com

Starting with my cooking, I have four recipes to share, two are my own and two are from websites. First I need to mention the butter-less vanilla cake/bread. I was out of butter (and milk) so I was trying to find something to bake that didn't have butter in it. The problem is that when you search butter-less cakes/baked goods, you also find dairy-free, gluten-free, egg-free... Not that those are bad, but I don't need to follow any of those rules. I finally found a recipe online that I actually wasn't sure I'd like because it was heavy on the liquid and the batter wasn't particularly tasty. But once you bake it it was surprisingly good and my fiance loved it. (But, the recipe calls for milk and you said you didn't have any! I didn't, but I did have a lot of leftover half-and half!) Today, I'm actually going to make something totally new. When we went grocery shopping, I picked up a bag of Whole Foods mini chocolate chips. They are like little tiny gold pieces. I wanted to do something unique with them though, not make cookies or muffins or pancakes. I found a recipe for cookie dough chocolate chip fudge which looks amazing but I have a slight issue with fudge... but then I thought of this: chocolate chip bread! Why not? They make cinnamon bread and cardamom bread (something I have to make again) and raisin (ick) bread... chocolate chips are perfect for a sweet bread! I will be making this later today.

Butter-less Cake. Surprisingly good.

The first of my two recipes is something I have done before but have decided to modify. In my previous version of this, I relied on another person's recipe but then I looked up another recipe, and another and I finally settled on my own cocktail. It is my newly infamous:

Avocado Smoothie!

Updated!

Ingredients -

 

1/2 Ripe Banana

1/2 Ripe Avocado

1/2 Cup of Vanilla Yogurt (Greek or regular, if you only have plain then add a touch of vanilla extract to it)

1/2 Cup (or more) of Canned Plain Coconut Milk

1 Tablespoon of Agave Syrup

Between 1/4 and 1/3 Cup of Ice

Directions - 

1) Blend all ingredients until smooth! (Too thick? Add a bit of your choice of milk.)

Every night, my fiance and I ask each other the same question: "What do you want for dinner?" And neither of us ever knows. Last night, my fiance knew he wanted some freshly baked Amish bread, which I've made a zillion times before, but the main dish he didn't know. I said I could do something with the chicken we had and he said that sounded fine. I'd been wanting to braise some chicken for a long time, for one because I'd never done it before and for two because I thought it would be tasty and simple. Oh man. It had some unexpected results. I used two websites for help, but in the end it was my own recipe. (TLC Cooking and Stella Culinary were both helpful.) What is braising? It's essentially allowing something to cook long and slow in a small amount of liquid. Not enough to submerge the whole item, but enough to come up about half way on the meat.

Holly's Braised Chicken

Braising Ingredients

Seared Chicken

Ingredients for two servings - 

2 Whole Chicken Legs

1 Large Carrot

1 Medium Potato

1 Small Onion

1 Large Clove of Garlic

1 Pat of Butter

Chicken Broth

Water

Salt

Pepper

Directions -

1) In a skillet or saucepan with a lid (something large enough to hold all the ingredients comfortably), melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add chicken and sear uncovered until nicely golden brown, about 6-8 minutes on each side. (See above picture for how it should look.)

2) In the meantime, peel and cut carrot and potato into bite-sized pieces then slice the onion into small strips and mince the garlic.

3) When the chicken is done, remove from the pan and set aside. Add veggies and cook uncovered over medium to medium-high heat until they start to pick up some color, about 5 minutes.

4) Add chicken broth until veggies are mostly submerged (see picture), add salt and pepper to taste, and cook uncovered over medium heat for another 5 minutes.

5) Make some room for the chicken and place the chicken back in the pan with the veggies and broth. Add more chicken broth or water until liquid comes slightly higher than halfway up the chicken. Bring the heat up to medium-high until it boils (should only take a few seconds), cover then place heat on low.

6) Cook on low, covered, for about 40-45 minutes or until meat is falling off of the bone and is no longer pink. Check every 10-15 minutes and add more liquid if necessary. Liquid will absorb during cooking and liquid does not need to be at the same level the entire cooking process.

7) Remove chicken to serving plates when done, then cook liquid and veggies, uncovered on medium, medium-high heat until liquid is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Serve braising sauce and veggies over chicken and enjoy!

Lastly, I have my next Squishable Bunch pictures to share with you. I am thinking about eventually changing my mascots to be my cats, but more on the reason why and when will be at a later date. Enjoy and I will write again soon!

Fish Can't Climb Trees

At the beginning of writing this blog post it is 8 degrees outside.

I always feel that March sneaks up on us because February is so short. Even though February is only two or three days shorter than other months (and sometimes only one day) those days make a difference. February is usually rough on people. It's a transitional month for weather for some, for others it's a nasty snowy/sleety mess. Because February is a shorter month you don't feel as if you have enough time to accomplish things "by the end of the month." They say that the transition from March to April is "in like a lion and out like a lamb" but I find that the transition from February to March is more accurate, although it could be because I have always lived in colder, messier climates.

I'm excited about March actually. I usually am quite fond of winter although this year, probably because I'm pregnant, I've been craving spring. (My saying is that I love snow from Thanksgiving to Valentine's day, I can take or leave it before and after that.) I look forward to being outside more, doing some light hiking and walking around, and even working again. I can already tell that spring is in the air even if it is masked somewhat by the bitter temperatures.

I am taking a bit of a break from pregnancy talk for this blog post. I will state however that I appreciate comments and thoughts when they come in, and I will be talking more about the state of my growing stomach in a day or two. I just wanted this blog post to be a bit more refreshing. (This also means that the "Squishable Bunch" pictures will wait until the next post.)

Before I get started on my main topics for the day, I would like to share a picture I found (thus claiming no credit for) while looking for some backgrounds for my iPad mini:

I had no idea Albert Einstein said this, but when I found the quote I really liked it. I may even have the quote made into a picture or something I can hang up as a decoration. I feel like this happens with people too often today, being judged for something that not everyone can do. For example with mental ability and intelligence. My grandma and I both believe that there are different types of intelligence. Just because someone is unable to comprehend physics does not mean that they would be unable to be successful carpenters or lawyers. The same goes for the other way around. You can understand physics but be completely clueless as to how to nail two boards together or change a diaper. Everything is perspective.

The first of my main topics today is crafting and the world surrounding that. It has been some time since I have mentioned crafts on this blog, but it doesn't mean I haven't been doing them along with some science experiments. I have made slime (everyone loves Borax), attempted to make bouncy balls, and even made some milk plastic. (P.S.: That last link is awesome! Check out his other stuff!) I have also done some classic chromatography with some coffee filters and some water soluble markers (hint: Crayola markers don't work). And as a final science-y experiment, I have played with sunlight exposure and small objects with SunArt paper. Why all the links? Because I have no pictures of what I have made specifically. I didn't think to take pictures at the time.

Moving on to "traditional" crafting, I have quite the list of things to do. First off, I know this is pregnancy related but I am planning on crocheting a relatively small baby blanket using the dutchess lace stitch I found online. I have a nice cream color and a nice burgundy and I will be making it mostly cream with some stripes of red. I hope it turns out well!

I have been really craving making some crafty decorations and came across this one: string art trophies. I'm not yet sure what shape or design I'm going to do, but I am planning on making one for myself or my child. It's such a simple, pretty thing to do and I want to make it!

Since I have been collecting the mail for the place I am employed at, I have been collecting quite a few pointless magazines. Now, I could be wasteful and throw them away OR I can think of something creative to do with them such as make a butterfly art masterpiece! When I saw this online I about melted. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because those punches are pretty pricey as it turns out and we don't have a whole lot of money to be wasting at the moment. But it is on my list of "to-dos."

Origami is an art my fiance and I both love but I also happen to be a fan of bows. An origami bow made from some recycled magazine paper sounds right up my alley! I can try this one at any time I just haven't gotten there yet. I can't wait though!

Here's something I don't exactly know what to do with yet, vintage burlap sacks. I came across an idea on a website (I don't quite remember which one, it could have been Pintrest or Country Living) where the image on the burlap sack had been embroidered to emphasize and protect the colors of the picture, then stretched over a canvas to be hung up as a decoration. While I liked this idea, I also recognize the creative value of a burlap sack. They're cheap, versatile, attractive, and a fabric that can be made into anything from pillows to pictures. I still haven't decided if or how I will use this as a craft idea, but it certainly looks fun and interesting.

This next idea I'll have to wait until the leaves grow back but I would love to find a creative use for skeleton leaves. Another cheap, simple idea that could be used to create something really pretty.

Something that isn't exactly crafty but could be used for a craft idea (i.e. the skeleton leaves) is this "cloche." Pronounced "klo-sh," you may have seen these at a relatives house used to protect a hanging item or a clock. I have no idea if I will ever purchase one of these from this website, as they are a bit expensive, but I love the idea of making something that can be beautiful and preserved. We will see!

Food! A great topic in itself, it is something I'm very passionate about, as you all know. I have been bitten by the baking bug as of late and I have been taking advantage of this. I actually do have pictures of the things I have made, with one exception being the brownies, which I followed the recipe exactly omitting the optional walnuts (I detest nuts in my brownies) and used an 8x8 pan instead because it was what I had. As a side note, the author does suggest using butter instead of oil if you would like a richer brownie and I tried it both ways with pretty tasty results. However, butter is better (you didn't need me to tell you!) and even cooked a little faster. I made two batches and my fiance ate all of them except four little squares which I managed to snag. Delicious!

My friend Justin was up here last month for his birthday and I made a butter cake for him. My favorite cake is a butter cake with chocolate frosting which he ate happily. It is very hard to find a good butter cake recipe that is also moist, and this recipe comes pretty close. It was still not as moist as I would have liked it to be, I will have to fiddle around with adding sour cream or something that retains a bit of moisture, but it was flavorful. The ONLY thing I changed was I used almond extract instead of vanilla and that was a fantastic alteration. Yum!

Butter cake! Line in the middle created by a knife checking for doneness.

I mentioned chocolate frosting. When it comes to cooking and baking I am both a purist and a minimalist. I feel that we have lost the true flavor of some foods because we have added too many ingredients to the recipe causing it to be overly complex and in some cases, even boring. This is the reason why most, if not all, of my recipes only have ingredients that are necessary for the most basic of composition and flavor. You get a purer sense of what you are eating because you are able to identify flavors so none are lost through over seasoning. That being said you can't really overdo frosting of any kind which is why you need not more than five ingredients. However, while your frosting recipe should never have more than five ingredients, I guarantee you're making your frosting wrong. There are two ways you can overdo a recipe: 1) too many ingredients and 2) too much of one ingredient. I see this most often in recipes that call for sugar. Now, with many recipes, there are certain "methods" that are employed while making, like creaming sugar and butter first. I am developing a new method here: The Frosting Method. (Note before I continue: I really did love the author's recipe and chose it for its simplicity and common ingredients. I did not prepare it the way that was stated in the directions for the reason that will follow.)

The Frosting Method (Patent Pending):

You have five ingredients as listed by the author of the chocolate frosting website. They are: butter, vanilla, milk, cocoa powder, and powdered sugar. To prepare -

1) Cream butter until smooth and workable. Blend in vanilla.

2) Sift the cocoa powder. Work into creamed butter and vanilla. If it becomes too thick to work with, trickle in about one tablespoon of milk at a time until workable. It is better to use too little milk than too much.

3) Slowly sift in powdered sugar to taste*, adding milk as necessary to maintain workability. You are finished when taste and consistency are to your liking.

*Ah-HA! Probably the biggest difference and the reason for The Frosting Method. Ever taken a bite of cake with frosting and then practically spit it out because of how sweet it was? I ended up only using about two and a half cups of the requested three cups of powdered sugar. If you are not that into a rich chocolate you could cut the cocoa powder in half, add the powdered sugar to taste, and then add more cocoa powder as you see fit to taste as well. That's the great thing about recipes, you can edit them!

Yum! Frosted cake.

Valentine's Day is the anniversary of the day my fiance proposed to me, and in celebration I made heart shaped cookies and chocolate covered strawberries. The heart shaped cookies are actually the recipe for candy cane cookies but altered to be hearts instead of canes. My natural pink food dye did not hold up well which is why they are a slightly funny color and making a heart shape by hand is not easy so they may not be the best looking cookies, but they are good.

Heart cookies!

There is no real recipe for this considering you melt a chocolate of your choice then dip the strawberry in it and wait for it to cool. I didn't have any wax or parchment paper though which would have been really helpful instead of losing bits of chocolate on the plate when I pulled the strawberries off.

The last recipe I will share with you is really my own but I have to give credit to the author of this butternut squash recipe because I wasn't sure what temperature to cook at.

Holly's Butternut Squash Recipe!

Ingredients:

1 Butternut Squash, medium sized

Olive Oil

Salt

Pepper

Maple Syrup or Brown Sugar*

(*For a sweeter squash. For savory, sliced garlic is probably ideal)

Directions:

1) Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Cut off ends of squash, then peel, cut in half, and remove seeds and pulp. Then place each half of the squash cut side down on a cutting board, cut in half lengthwise, then cut each of those halves in half lengthwise again. Then cut each squash strip into about inch long pieces.

2) Place cut squash into a 9x13 baking dish or other suitable dish. Drizzle olive oil over the top of the squash, just enough to lightly coat when tossed. Add salt and pepper to taste. Choose your primary flavoring, whether sweet or savory, and add to taste. (For maple syrup and brown sugar, toss to coat, for garlic, add as seen fit.)

3) Cover dish with aluminum foil and bake for about 30-35 minutes or until just barely fork tender, tossing squash every 10 minutes or so.

4) Finish squash by removing foil and baking for another five to ten minutes or until tender.

Roasted Butternut Squash. It's delicious and healthy! We had couscous with it.

Probably Wednesday I will be posting again about my pregnancy and what has been going on there. There's always more news to be had! I realize this has been a long blog post so my next one shouldn't be as bad.

I hope everyone is enjoying their opening to March and I will write again soon!