Expect the Unexpected - Listen to Your Body and Mind

Friday, June 18th around 9:30am I experience my first contractions.

I have tried to look up what contractions feel like many times. Everyone says something a little different which of course leads to the thought that everyone experiences something different. While I firmly believe that people have different takes on situations and events, the fact is that contractions are contractions. Just like a runny nose is a runny nose no matter how it's described. I would describe a contraction as a cramp that radiates across your lower stomach and possibly even down the top part of your thighs. Contractions are also felt in your lower back, it's like a warm, fuzzy cramp. Of course, once they get stronger they get more painful but that's to be expected when you go into labor.

My fiance comes home to visit me around 10:30am or so. I tell him that I think I'm having contractions and he stops working to assess my situation. I was having contractions bout four minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a full minute. He says he wants to go to the hospital. I was reluctant because I wasn't in that much pain but we go anyway.

We arrive at the hospital somewhere around 11:00am. I'm hooked up to monitors and evaluated. The nurse on duty was very nice and after about a half hour of monitoring we were told I was in fact in early labor but because my contractions were only four minutes apart I was on the fence of whether to admit me or send me home. The decision was made to monitor me for another hour or so before making an official decision. I became agitated because my fiance and I were both told to come to the hospital when my contractions were five minutes apart and lasting about a minute, they were coming faster than that, and they're telling us it's not enough for admittance.

The hospital forgot about us for about 2 hours. I was starving at this point and all I could think about was food. The pain of hunger far outweighed the pain of contractions and all I wanted to do was eat. After a nurse came for us we were told I was still borderline for being admitted and it was up to me as to whether I stayed or left. My hunger made the choice easy: leave and eat.

It's about 3:00pm or so t this point. My fiance and I stop and get food and I made some phone calls. My fiance asks me what I want to do. I wanted to go home. After being forgotten about for so long, being told I was borderline for admittance (I was 3-4 centimeters dilated, still about 90% effaced, and the baby's head was still at 0 station), and wanting to be at home with my fiance for a while before I went back, all I could think about was laying down for a bit. Eating had made me feel about 1,000 times better but I wasn't ready to go back to the hospital.

So we go home. My fiance is wonderful, staying with me, playing a game with me, all to distract me while I feel the contractions getting stronger and more painful. The contractions never got any closer together, but the pain level was at a point where I was hardly able to move. By about 10:00pm-ish, my fiance wants to go back to the hospital. I was finally at a point where I didn't argue.

Upon arriving to the hospital and after assessment I was in deemed to be in active labor and admitted. I was about 8 centimeters dilated, about 95% effaced, and the baby was still at 0 station. I hung out for a while, just letting my body do what came naturally. When I was 100% effaced and dilated (which is at 10 centimeters for those who don't know), I was told to try to push. I didn't quite know how or what to do, so the doctor told the nurse I wasn't ready. I started to get the hang of it around 2:00am. Within an hour or so of pushing, I started feeling these sharp pains in my pelvic region. Shortly after that I felt like there was something wrong. I told the nurse I couldn't do this and she said I could and just keep pushing.

At 4:37am my water broke. More like exploded. There was an audible "pop" and then a serious release of liquid. The baby was still at 0 station. I kept pushing, feeling those sharp, stabbing type pains in my pelvic region. I was exhausted and practically falling asleep between contractions. The contractions were so bad the nurse grabbed this dog-like toy for me to pull on. By about 6:30am it had felt like my body had completely taken over. I was no longer in control of pushing, my body was doing that for me. The nurse checks my status. The baby appeared to still be in 0 station. She calls the doctor in to check on me. The baby hasn't moved. It's worth noting here that the baby was still in the same position from that Monday when I had my doctor's appointment. The doctor started talking about a c-section to the nurse. My fiance and I started conversing with each other. I told him that I was willing to undergo the c-section because this seemed like an emergency scenario; the baby hadn't moved, I was in an immense amount of pain, more so than I thought I should be feeling, and my body was taking over. As soon as the c-section was confirmed, I asked for drugs. I was in too much pain. Whatever they gave me at that moment didn't really work, I found out it was a relaxant and looking back I wish I would have just waited until I was in the operating room.

My fiance couldn't be in the OR with me because of the cutting open of my body factor, it would have made him too nauseous. I understood completely and was wheeled into surgery. I had another few contractions before being able to successfully have the epidural, but once I had that, on top of other IV medications, I was much better, if not still ready to pass out. My anesthesiologist was giving me updates on my progress as it was going on, my sight was blocked by a curtain. I was trembling from a combination of the medications, exhaustion, and the surgery. After a few minutes, I felt my body literally lifting off of the operating table. I later assembled what happened: the baby's head was literally wedged in my pelvic bone, not able to go further. This explained the sharp pains I had been feeling.

The baby was officially born at 7:30am on Saturday, July 19th. After he had been cleaned off he was shown to me. He is beautiful. I was asked if he could be taken to my fiance. I said that would make him so happy. I was sewn up then taken into the post-operation room where my fiance and the baby were. The baby was recorded as being 8 pounds, 5 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long. (I would love to mention here that he is not diabetic.) We started breastfeeding right away. He was already a pro at this, however, it is common for c-section babies to be very good at first latches and then have slight difficulty on subsequent latches (which did happen, he's a good eater now). I was wheeled into a regular OB hospital room for recovery after the initial assessment.

Moving after a c-section is hard. You have a catheter because you can't move from the waist down for a while, you've been split open and lost a lot of blood, plus your body is working on milk production for the baby not to mention trying to go back to "normal" size after giving birth. It was very, very hard for me to move around after I regained feeling in my legs.

Despite having a c-section, I felt good knowing my baby was in perfect health. We slept together due to frequent feedings, (it wouldn't have made much sense for him to sleep elsewhere), and we were in the hospital from that Friday to the following Tuesday. I love my little boy so much and I'm thrilled that he's doing well. We are having some trouble sleeping during the day, but he sleeps most of the night with the exception of feedings. I can't believe he's already almost a month old... how time flies! It seems like only yesterday I found out I was pregnant, what a journey this has been.

I'm doing well. Nursing is hard and it continues to be, but it does get easier with time. It's frustrating sometimes when the baby doesn't sleep during the day because he gets so tired he starts screaming, and I'm perpetually tired so this doesn't help me. But we're working on it (he seems to like his swing). My fiance has been very helpful, giving me the occasional break when he's not working or if he gets a few minutes to help. Plus he is helping with the household chores which is amazing.

I will be posting all sorts of baby things in the coming weeks and months but for now I want to give a few pieces of advice for new mothers. For one, it's okay to let your baby cry for a bit. Not forever, but it's not a bad thing to put the baby in a swing or a crib and let them cry for 10 minutes. Especially if they're tired and unable to fall asleep. It will help you and your sanity. The second piece of advice is babies are not as fragile as they appear. Provided you don't shake or throw your baby, and provide them with head support, don't worry so much. Lastly, sleep when your baby sleeps. Many mothers hear this all the time but it's no joke. Get help with household chores and sleep whenever your baby sleeps. It will get better as time goes on but get as much rest as you can while your baby sleeps.

The last piece of advice being said, I'm going to hopefully take a nap now. I usually wait about 20 minutes after my baby falls asleep to ensure he won't wake up and thus wake me up leaving me groggier than before. Thanks to everyone for your caring and support. I can't wait to watch my little guy grow up!