Dedicated to All of the Struggling Pregnant Women Out There

I felt very compelled to type this blog post entry.

I realize my blog isn't the most viewed blog online, or the most popular, or even the most concise. I'm a little all over the place, I talk about many different things; I have a lot of different topics I'm interested in. But that's always been who I am, varied. This post is very specifically for the pregnant women out there who are suffering from pain, discomfort, nausea, anything that can make your life difficult while you live it for yourself and another tiny person (or two, or three, or however many little people you're also raising or incubating).

My first pregnancy was fairly easy and I specifically mentioned this in a blog post while I was pregnant. It didn't mean I didn't have pregnancy symptoms like my fingers and one foot swelling or heartburn, but the entirety of the pregnancy was basically a very long walk in the park. This pregnancy is starkly different. That isn't to say it's been the worst pregnancy in the world, and trust me, after the research I've done I know it isn't, but it has been very different. The absolute worst thing people say to me is, "Isn't it funny how each pregnancy is so different?" It's a riot. I'm laughing while I'm in pain and uncomfortable. While I have pain or shortness of breath I can't even identify well enough to explain to someone else. It's awful.

I have been having some pelvic pain during this pregnancy. It's not to say I didn't have it with my first child, but this has been worse. For the sake of having people understand, I want to explain some of the pain I've been having. If I go to move something out of the way with the side of my foot, and this item's fairly heavy, I'll get a sharp pain in the center of my pelvis. I went to take a step holding my child and had a similar pain that prevented me from moving forward, so much so I slowly fell to the ground and was unable to get up for a minute or two. It was also tough walking around the rest of that day. The most annoying thing to happen is my entire pelvic bone will start to feel numb by the end of the day and make it exceptionally uncomfortable and stiff to walk. I'm usually okay first thing in the morning but by the end of the day I'm sitting a lot more. Fortunately, the sharp pain is not frequent at all and the numbness/stiffness is tolerable.

I decided to research this pain that I was having because I wanted to know who else has been there. I want to make it very, very clear here: I am functional and mobile. It's not always easy, but I'm not incapacitated. I came across a website that spoke about SPD or symphysis pubic dysfunction. (Article here.) I started to read about this condition that can basically leave women immobile and paralyzed with pain. I feel bad that there are so many women out there struggling 10x or more worse than I am and they receive no help. I'm exceptionally grateful that this is not a condition that I have, however, for the women that do have it, they receive little to no assistance. I started reading the comments at the bottom of the article. Women who can't get out of bed to use the bathroom. Women who are on bed rest then go into labor and tear muscles because of the atrophy that occurred. What struck me the absolute most though was the complete lack of sympathy and understanding from the OB/GYN doctors. And that is what I want to focus on.

After I collapsed, albeit slowly, I decided to call my OB/GYN. I was connected to my favorite OB/GYN nurse who listened sweetly, told me she understood, and tried to help identify the source of the pain. (Baby shifting on my pelvis as I tried to move?) She also told me that she'd give the information to the doctor that was in that day (not my doctor, unfortunately, it was the other one of two). Not surprisingly, I never heard back from them. This same doctor I was connected to when I was having chest pain one day. I've never met this woman, or even seen her, but I don't think we would be on the same terms. My chest pain was very mild, but was this kind of recurring stabbing pain, just irritating enough for me to call after hours to see if I should go to the ER or something. This woman told me, as if she was reading from a textbook that if I was having chest pain, severe bleeding, or something else I can't remember offhand, to go to the ER. She didn't ask me to describe the pain or anything. I was so mad I'm surprised the pain didn't get worse. When I relayed this information to my fiance he told me that this pain actually sounded like a panic attack and tried to relax me. It helped and I didn't go to the ER. I'm very glad I didn't because it would have been a completely unnecessary trip that I'd have to bring my small child along with to see his poor mom get evaluated and wait two hours or more to get discharged. For nothing. He's such a good child and he would have handled it beautifully, but there was no need to put him through that. Also, if I had never had heartburn before that could have just as easily been the pain I was having and the doctor would never know because she couldn't be bothered to ask a question.

For these women who are suffering from SPD, their pain is extraordinary. It's so incredibly sad and frustrating to hear about because it's something you feel powerless to help with. And their doctors also do nothing. The argument here is, "what can they do?" Women are on regimented Tylenol and it doesn't even curb the pain. (At that rate of course, why take it? Who knows what you're doing to your child.) Some of these women who have SPD find out later that their pelvis actually dislocated because of the pregnancy. Some women are crippled for years after birth because of this condition. Doctors are reluctant to do anything that might interfere with the development of the baby so the health and well-being of the mother is put to the side. They listen then say "oh, well, that's common" or "try to take it easy." You want to seriously tell a pregnant woman who can hardly stand up to try to take it easy? Here's a thought: some pregnant women have things to do. So what are the solutions?

Realistically, unless your pelvis is actually dislocated, there's little that can be done internally to relieve the pain. Tylenol, even though deemed safe, seems unnecessary to use if it doesn't really help anyway (I've seen that more than once), and bed rest is just as bad. You need those muscles to be strong to deliver. (And to possibly take care of your other children.) In my personal opinion, seeing someone who specializes in prenatal physical therapy or chiropractic services might be a really big help. Also, stretching is really helpful, although I'd get someone to help you. As much as it hurts, it can counteract a lot of the consistent pain. Most importantly, if it's a specific activity you're doing that causes a lot of pain, don't do it (unless it's like climbing out of bed or something). If your doctor is really ignoring your pain, or nothing seems to help, my other suggestion is to get a a new doctor or midwife instead of or in tandem. Those women can really help.

I'm incredibly grateful that I don't have this condition but being as rough as I have been during this pregnancy has put into perspective for me a lot of pain that people experience everyday and no one is there to help. I'm tired of doctors who ignore or dismiss. We know our bodies better than they do.

Since I've specifically dedicated this blog post I won't speak much about unrelated things. I am 29 weeks pregnant, the third trimester. It's crazy how fast this pregnancy is going compared to my last one.

Happy first of July everyone!